Well I had emailed Greg Rizzi one of the industry members from the animation panelist. Since I had trouble with my rigs I didn’t really have any animation to show them. He wrote back to me today, He found some of the story unclear.
1) There are a few things that are unclear. I am not sure why the flipping of the light switch and the changing of the bulb switched the two characters' powers. Is it because the man tries to put the new bulb in the socket before the dog turns off the light switch?
2) Perhaps you should think of a better way to show the two characters being electrocuted. Maybe have a close-up of the man's hand going into the light socket.
3) Also, a close-up of the blown bulb right after it blows might help clear that up.
4) If the dog turns off the light switch, why does he still get electrocuted?
5) Perhaps, simplifying the idea even more is best. Maybe the piece should simply be about the two characters playing checkers where the dog is really fast, but the man is slow and more thoughtful about how he plays. The dog is so quick to move his piece that he doesn't realize he's made the wrong move. The man realizes it and makes one final agonizingly slow move to finish off the impatient dog.
6) These are all things to think about. They are not concrete things that you must do in order to complete your piece. It's all about keeping your ideas simple, and most importantly, clear to your audience. You may ask several different people and get several different ideas of what to change and how. Part of becoming an animator is realizing what you can do and what you have time for. It can be difficult to sort through critiques, but I hope these things help you along. Lots of luck. I'd love to see it when it's further along.
So I decided in the shot were the man is screwing in the light bulb, to not have his arm go up as high, I think this might read better. I hope once I add my 2-D effects for the electrocution scene, It will read a lot better. I feel I have to work on the dogs slide better too, to help it read.
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